Z is for....

Z is for Zzzzzzzzzzz....... I am one of those busy high school juniors who seems to never get enough sleep. I am always up doing homework, reading, or playing around on my laptop. I usually go to bed before 11, but it can sometimes vary. *yawn*

I'd like to thank everyone that has commented and followed during the course of this challenge. I can't believe it's already over! I have thoroughly enjoyed it, and can't wait for next year's! Then again, I really need to come up with a better theme before then. I'm thinking... well... wait, why should I tell you? It's a surprise!! Please check back tomorrow for my reflection post!!

Y is for....WHY??

I know this is basically cheating, but I'm using this because I can't think of any good words that start with Y. So, why is for why?

I've learned that it's never productive to ask, "Why me?" in a bad situation. I am a 35 week preemie. I was born on May 5th. I was supposed to be born on June 5th. Even today, I ask myself 'Why?'. Unfortunately, this is a question to which I will never know the answer to. I often wonder what would have happened if iI'd been born when I was supposed to. I'd probably not have spent 3 weeks in the hospital. But it's not productive to ask why (or to start a sentence with but!).

I have also asked this question: "Why did i have to have cancer?". Again, it's not productive to ask this question because I'll never know the answer. The lesson to learn from this is rather than ask 'why?', suck it up and deal with it!

oh, and one more thing..." Why does it HAVE to be Monday tomorrow?".

X is for....

X is for relaX!

I can't believe we're almost at the end of this challenge. Seemed like just yesterday we were at A... and now X?!??!?! How did this happen?

X if for relaX, something that I do entirely too much. I usually do my homework in my big pink bed so that I can fall asleep there if I want to. I also have a terrible procrastination habit that I cannot seem to break!

W is for Walker Bros. Pancake House

W is for Walker Bros. Pancake House. It's one of my favorite breakfast restaurants. I love their apple pancakes, crepes, banana pancakes, and german pancakes. Can you tell I like pancakes yet? ;) When I was little, I used to order banana pancakes every single time I went there. However, I've branched out to other types lof pancakes. I am a total breakfast food person if you can't already tell. One time, for my birthday dinner, we had breakfast food. It was delicious!! What are your favorite types of breakfast foods?

Please check out my other psots from today!

Celebrate the Small Things

EEK! I'm triple booked today. I have A-Z challenge, Feature and Follow Friday, and Celebrate the Small Things. A-Z will be up at some point today. Your patience is appreciated!

I have many small things to celebrate this week. Here they are!!

1. I'm 17 in 9 days.
2. I am cancer free, as declared by my Dr!!
3. ACT testing is done!!!
4. I found out I can have a minor cosmetic procedure, if I want to, to restore the hair I lost. I had the skin cancer on my scalp, and there's a skin graft there, so hair will never grow there again by itself. Yay for today's medical technology!!

Feature and Follow Friday

Q: Is there a song that reminds you of a book? Or vice versa? What is the song & the book?

Yes! I have always been obsessed with 'Stronger' by Kelly Clarkson, especially since I am currently in the loooonnng process of recovering from skin cancer on my scalp. My all-time favorite book is My Sister's Keeper, which deals with a girl with terminal leukemia. Strong is the perfect word to describe their family. Here's a very touching video of childhood cancer patients dancing to this song:

V is for Valentine's Day

I have always loved Valentine's Day-- partially because of the chocolate/candy! I have always had a huge sweet tooth.That's why I think of Valentine's Day as a perfect excuse for candy!

Here's a cute Valentine's Day story. I have a friend who happens to be a boy. We are not dating or anything like that. However, 2/14/13, I walk into my homeroom and receive a red carnation. I was shocked. I looked at the stem, and saw that there was a note. It said "Happy Valentine's Day, Morgan. From Charlie". That made my day!

U is for Unique.

U is for Unique. I've always been a person who doesn't care about what others think of her. In seventh grade english, I read a book called Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli. Stargirl is a new student at a high school where everyone dresses and acts the same. Ever since reading this book, I've always been inspired to be myself and to not care about what others think  of me. We are all unique in our own ways. I'm unique because I volunteer in a hospital in the summer, I have my own blog at the young age of ALMOST 17 ( 11 days!!!), I love reading, cooking, and doing art using glass. If everyone were the same, it'd be really boring! Being unique is what makes each of us special. 

T is for Taylor Ambrose

Taylor Ambrose is one of my favorite characters from My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Piccoult. Taylor, like Kate, has leukemia. They meet during a chemotherapy treatment session, and bond over what they've been through. Taylor loves making Kate smile and cheering her up.

S is for...

S is for Seventeenth Birthday and Skin Cancer Survivor

This post is going to be a bit long, so I might as well go ahead and get started! S is for my impending 17th birthday in 13 days, as well as the fact that I am a skin cancer survivor. I'll start with the later idea, since it's depressing. My story is posted below. Feel free to ask me anything about this in the comments section, and I will do my best to respond to each and every one of you. All I ask is that if you have anything rude to say, please keep it to yourself. Thank you. 

“You have cancer”. When I heard that on November 15,2011, I was devastated, terrified,  and shocked. 

   It all started on October 4th, 2011. I went to the dermatologist due to dandruff, and I also wanted to show her a weird bump on my scalp. It’d been there for five years (at least), and three pediatricians had identified it has a cyst, and there’d never been any cause for concern. However, I thought I might as well show the doctor. I was there, and I wanted it to be looked at. 

  When the doctor looked at it, she was concerned because it was red. “I’ll give you two choices”, she said. “ We can either take it off, or I can see you back in a few months to look at it again”. I thought for a second. I knew that if I were to get it taken off, it’d be really painful. On the other hand, I didn’t want to wait. What if it was something bad? In the end, I decided to get it taken off. 

We made the appointment for November 14th, 2011. During that entire month, all I could do was wait and hope for the best. I have to admit that I was freaked out about the whole thing. I hate needles, and I knew that there’d be at least one going into my head, if not more. I only thought about that one aspect, not about the results. I automatically assumed that the results would show that the bump was just a harmless cyst. But I’d soon be proven wrong!

   Before I knew it, November 14th came. My stomach felt like there were butterflies in it.  Unfortunately, that anxiety didn’t get resolved right away. We had to wait an hour for the doctor to come. All I wanted to do was get the procedure over with and go home so that I could study for my science test. My mom asked me, “ Do you want me to see if she has another appointment open?”. I said no. All I wanted to do was get it over with!

   It seemed as though hours passed before the doctor came in. When she finally did, I was terrified but relieved. This meant that the procedure was that much closer to being over! The biopsy was awful. Absolutely awful.I had to get shots of local anesthetic, which was the worst part. The doctor was terrible at giving injections. It was the worst pain I’d ever been in. However, after about fifteen minutes, it was over. I can honestly say that those 15 minutes were the worst part of this entire ordeal. 

   The next day, around 6:00, we got the phone call. My heart was racing- I had a feeling we’d get bad news. Why else would he have stayed on the phone for a half hour? Unfortunately, my suspicion of it being horrible news turned out to be correct. My dad said, “ It’s cancer. You’re going to have to have it removed again”. I started bawling uncontrollably. 

  There was, however, a good part to this story. I have been keeping in touch with my middle school english teacher for several years now. We’ve grown to have a special connection over the past few years. I finally made the decision to tell her about this whole surgery thing. I was reluctant to at first, but it ended up being the best decision I’d ever made. Part of the benefit having a friendship like this is that you have someone to go to for support. I sent the initial email telling her about it. I got a response the next day, and I was scared to open it at first. I guess I was worried about how she’d react. It isn’t everyday that someone tells you that they’re going to have surgery! However, when I did end up opening it, she did not overreact. She ended up helping me through this whole experience. I would have been worse off if I didn’t tell. You really don’t know until you try!

  Anyway, more on that later. Getting back to me, the next few weeks were spent going to doctor after doctor. I suddenly realized that there was a very good chance that I’d 1. have to have multiple surgeries and 2. that there was a very good chance that I’d be put to sleep for at least one. I was terrified at the thought of being put to sleep. I’d never done it before, and my mom has had several bad reactions to it. 

   A few weeks later, I found out that I’d have to have an MRI of my brain to see how big the tumor was. The dermatologist wasn’t sure if she’d be comfortable doing the surgery because she thought that the tumor might be bigger than she thought. 

  The day before the MRI, I was an emotional wreck. I had never had this type of test before, and from what I’d heard from other people, it’s not pleasant!! 

The day before the test, I went and saw my former teacher that I mentioned before. It turned out that that was the best thing. I told her about the MRI, and she said that,” I’ll be thinking of you all day tomorrow!”. That made me feel better. 

  So, the MRI was horrible. It took nearly two hours, and it was so loud that it sounded like a saw was going in my ear. I also had to have an injection of contrast, which is a dye to help the MRI pictures be easier to look at. That was the worst part. I was screaming the entire time.

  Eventually, we decided to go to Northwestern Memorial Hospital for the surgery. They have doctors who specialize in this sort of thing. My main surgeon was really nice. He knew what he was doing, but he also had an awesome bedside manner. I should mention here that right before the surgery, I was tearing up. My plastic surgeon (more about him later) just stood there looking at me, but my main surgeon was patting me on the shoulder, trying to make me feel better, which it did. That just goes to show how much difference a small gesture can make! I’ll get back to that day in a bit. 

   I also had to have an initial surgery to remove the cancer itself. It hurt a lot, but I had a nice Dr. doing it. In total, the surgery took about 5 hours. I was awake for it, and the local anesthesia didn’t even hurt. I got used to it pretty quick. I was relieved when it was over, though. Being awake for a procedure is not fun!

   For the next surgery, I would be asleep, and the doctors would close up the huge wound from the last surgery. Originally, the surgeons said that they were going to shave half my head for the surgery. However, after I broke down in tears at this news, they did a skin graft instead. It was very painful. Anyway, the plastic surgeon was pretty insensitive. He didn’t have a very good bedside manner. Oh well...

  The day of surgery was very overwhelming. We did a lot of waiting that day, and the worst part was the i.v line. However, everyone was really nice. I remember going into the operating room, but that’s it.  I wasn’t at all nauseous when I woke up, and I felt like a princess, with everyone there waiting on me!

  The recovery has been awful. Initially, I missed five days of school, and couldn’t wash my hair for five days. It’s been 11 months now, and the skin graft still itches- a normal part of healing. I have ultrasounds every six months, and so far I’m cancer free! 

  I have learned a ton about friendship in these past several months. Some of my friends were not supportive, while others were. I was hesitant to tell people at first, as I was not sure how they’d react. But the one main lesson I’ve learned through all this is that, “ You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take”. In other words, if you don’t reach out for help, you’ll never get it. When you’re a teenage cancer patient, you need all the help you can get!

  After this experience, I am doing everything I can to give back. I volunteer at Advocate Lutheran General Children’s Hospital every summer, and I am going to participate in American Cancer Society’s Relay for Life this summer. I know that even the smallest things make a big difference. 

I like to end on a positive note, so I can't believe I'm basically 17! This year has been hard socially for me, but all in all, it was a great year and I loved every minute of it!!

Blogging A to Z-R

R is for Random. This is pretty much a random list of all the things I love that start with R! Here we go...

1. Reading- I just finished this amazing YA book by Amy Efaw called After. It's this book about a girl who has to go to court, and the ending is really surprising! I'm planning on posting a review tomorrow, but this is just a preview to get all of my readers excited!

2. Red Velvet Cupcakes- I LOVE red velvet cupcakes!!! I am convinced that they're the best thing ever invented. I even got a book full of cupcake recipes last year for my birthday, just to give you an idea of how much I love them!

3. Resting- I can't seem to get enough rest lately. Perhaps that's because I'm a junior in high school with a very busy schedule?

4. Raspberries- I love raspberries.They're my favorite summer fruit- so red and cute and yummy!!

Q is for Queen

Q is for Queen, as in the wicked queen from Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. She is one of my favorite villains, as Snow White is one of my favorite Disney Movies. I wracked my brain to think of a good post for Q, and this just seemed to work. The Queen is ironic because she desperately wants to be 'the fairest in the land', yet she turns herself into an ugly old hag to do so. She is bitterly jealous and insecure.

Feature and Follow Friday ( See above for "Q")

Q: If you could hang out with any author (living) who would it be and what would you want to do? 

This is easy: I'd want to hang out with Dave Pelzer, author of A Child Called "It". We'd talk about his book over dinner. 

Blogging A to Z- "P"

Since nobody read or commented on my last post, I'll move on to my next post.

P is for Preemie. I am a preemie. I was born 5 weeks early on May 5. Since my birthday is coming up, I thought that this would be the perfect opportunity to share this story with all of you.

My parents were out for dinner with another couple. She kept feeling some weird pressure, and then she called Evanston Hospital. She went to the hospital, and never left! I was born at 11:59 the next morning.

Now, this next part is a bit scary, so I would recommend that you not read on if you don't like scary stories. I was lethargic and not eating, so my mom took me to the doctor. I was about 7 days old at this point. The nurse took my temperature, and it was dangerously low. So low, in fact, that my lips were blue. I went to the emergency room in an ambulance, and eventually the doctors discovered that I had bleeding in my brain. As a result of that, I stayed in the hospital for 3 weeks. From what my mom has told me, I had to have a lot of blood tests and a spinal tap, which is a test where they stick a needle in your back to draw out spinal fluid to check for meningitis. Apparently I was the talk of the hospital, and the doctors didn't know if I'd be able to walk or drive a car. I do both of those things now ;). Luckily, I have no recollection whatsoever of this story.

After I was discharged, I did Physical and Occupational Therapy from infancy to kindergarten- talk about a long commitment! I am perfectly ok now, but I still am a tad impacted from what happened. I can't ride a bike, I can't do a sommersault, and I am not exactly the best student in my gym class.

Blogging A to Z- "O"

                                     

"O" is for original. I live life to my own drum. I really don't care what others think, and I just strive to be myself. If any of you have ever read "Stargirl" by Jerry Spinelli (pictured below), then you know how hard marching to the beat of your own drum can be. However, I am who I am! I think it's better to be original than to do something just because others are doing it, too!

Blogging A to Z- "N"

"N" is for needle phobia. My phobia has improved in the past couple months, but it's still something that I have to deal with every time I go to the Dr. I especially hate injections or vaccines of any kind. Over the years, I've discovered that my secret weapon is my iPod. I use it every time I need to face a needle, and this way I don't pass out or anything like that.
 I had to get a mole off my back due to the fact that it was very annoying, and I almost DID pass out! It was so embarrassing!

Blogging A to Z-"M"

     

 "M" is for mentors. I have been so fortunate to have had a mentor in my life for the past 5 years. The person I'm referring to happens to be an english teacher that I had in 7th grade (I'm almost in 12th now!). I guess it all started when she told us a touching story about bullying when she was in high school, and it stuck with me. It still resonates with me today!

I didn't realize it back then, but it turned out that I'd have the same experience freshman and sophomore year. The fact is, girls are mean in high school! In a school of 4,000 kids, there's no such thing as 'popular'. I turned to my mentor when I was forced to deal with these mean girls. She helped me to realize that girls are mean just because they are insecure and want to make themselves feel better. That is a big life lesson that every one of us needs to learn- the sooner the better! Someday, when I am a mom, I hope to teach the same lesson to my children.

My mentor also helped me when I had three surgeries last year ( more on that in a couple weeks). I was terrified, and I needed an outside voice besides my parents. I love my parents, but sometimes you need one or two outside people to talk to. I was scared to tell her, as I didn't know how she'd react. I told her via email, so that I wouldn't need to see her face when I told her. I got a response the next day, and she was calm and collected, and more than happy to help. I don't know why I was scared to tell her in the first place!

What I find amazing about this whole story is that I didn't see it coming. When I was in her class, I thought she was just a nice teacher who I'd forget about in eighth grade. Some people- like her- come into your life and change it forever. I am forever grateful.

I realize this post is getting long, but this piece is not complete without mentioning Morrie from Tuesdays with Morrie. If you didn't know, this is my all time favorite book. Morrie mentors Mitch Albom in the same respect that my mentor mentors me, but there are some differences. For one, my mentor is not 78, and she is not dying of ALS! Morrie teaches Mitch lessons about everything from marriage to family to death. This is a true story!

Liebster Blog Award #2!

WOW! I have been given TWO Liebster Blog Awards! So happy right now!

1- Would you rather watch a sunrise or a sunset (not a metaphor), and why?

Sunsets- they're so romantic! 

2- How do you feel about homeschooling?

I am not a big fan of it. It isolates kids from being with people their own age. That's the key to developing social skills and learning how to deal with other people, both good and bad.

3- What is the most alluring thing a svelte woman can wear?

I have no idea! 

4- What do you believe would be the greatest challenge or biggest weakness for a deity? (Not necessarily a deity you believe in, if you happen to have faith, but just hypothetically speaking.)

I have no idea how to answer this...Maybe relating to us humans? 

5- What would most motivate you to tell someone else about a good book you just read?

The satisfaction of knowing that I just gave the gift of a good book!

6- What do you do with your clean socks? (Fold them together, roll them into a ball, pull them out of a package because you never wear the same socks twice...)

Put them in a drawer with all my other clean socks. 

7- If your life were to flash before your eyes right now, how would it look and what feeling(s) would you have?

It'd look very dramatic and fun at the same time. Fun, because I was a cute little kid, and dramatic because I'm a cancer survivor.

8- What do you retweet the most on Twitter, share-post the most of on Facebook, or +1 the most of on Google+?

I share-post funny pictures and videos on Facebook! 

9- What would most make you respect a man you just met?

Being smart, having good moral values, and personality.

10- When looking for a blog hop, where do you turn to?

Various other bloggers, mainly Trisha from Words + Stuff

11- What are the first three verbs associated with water that come to mind? (Examples: pour, drip, spill -- No, you can not use those three! Be creative. Think.)

 -Drink

- Swim

- Shower

Blogging A to Z- "L"

L is for Lord of the Flies. I read this book in sophomore english, and let's just say that the only word that I can think of to describe it properly is "interesting". This is a book about 4 boys who are stranded on a deserted island. They must live on their own and develop their own 'society' on the island. They try to do this, but it fails. Essentially, the boys go from a team to a group of savage beasts. Just to warn you, there are a few morbid scenes, especially towards the end.
   I've seen the movie of this story, but as us book nerds know, the book is always better than the movie! ;) The movie was in black and white, which was a big reason why I have this opinion. Also, the characters didn't enunciate very well, so it was hard to understand what they were saying ( or trying to say).

Blogging A to Z- "K"

"K" is for Kitty. I have always loved cats. Up until I was 12, I had an adorable cat named Winnie. She was light brown with white paws, and she was a member of our family. She actually had a personality. One of my favorite memories of her was when she used to sit on the kitchen chair as if to say, " When's dinner?". Since she died, I have been incessantly begging my parents for another cat, but the answer has always been "no" because of all the cat hair. We got new couches recently, and the hair would be an issue- it'd get all over the couches.
 I am begging my parents for a kitten, but so far that has gotten me nowhere. I just love cats when they snuggle up next to you!

J is for Juliana

J is for Juliana. Juliana Michaels is the protagonist in A Time for Dancing by Davida Wills Hurwin. Juliana has cancer, and her best friend,Samantha, alternates with Juliana narrating the journey. Cancer tests this friendship, but the true message is that friendship is stronger than cancer, as the two girls remain friends despite all that happens. Friendship is really delicate!  Juliana is strong and determined, yet never hesitates to let readers know her true feelings at any given moment. I have read this book about three times, and I highly recommend it!  Ps- Enjoy the cat pic!

Blogging A to Z- I

"I" is for Imagination. I like to think that I have a good imagination. When I was little (around 5 or 6), I used to pretend that I was Cinderella. I had a playhouse in the basement, and my mom would play the stepmother/ fairy godmother. I also loved to pretend to be sleeping beauty. I think my favorite one was pretending to be Ariel from "The Little Mermaid" when I'd go swimming. I used to be obsessed with Disney, but I've come to realize that you're really never too old for Disney! I still love the Princesses.

Blogging A to Z- "H" ( and breaking news alert: I've been nominated for the Liebster Blog Award!)

"H" is for Halloween. Halloween is my favorite holiday- I don't care if I'm almost 17! You're never too old for Halloween! Here's a chronological list of everything I have dressed up as from age 3 to age 16.
3- clown
4- bunny
5- princess
6- clown (costume was homemade, so everyone thought that I was a twister board. :( )
7- cat
8- witch
9-witch
10- witch
11-goth
12-goth
13- angel
14- doctor
15- baby ( worst costume of all time)
16- twister board

Picture of me in my twister costume

As you can see from the subject of my post, I've been nominated for the Liebster Blog Award! 

Breaking News: Liebster Blog award nomination!

I am so thrilled to be a nominee for this award!!

1. I was born on May 5 at Evanston Hospital.
2. Cheesecake Factory
3. Yes!
4. I have no idea.
5. Three
6. Weekends and evenings
7.  Taylor Swift
8. Participate in Bloghops!!
9. No
10. stomach ache- I'm lactose intolerant
11. Playing with my cat ( RIP, Winnie :'( )

Blogging A to Z-"G"

"G" is for glass. I have a secret hobby- I love to make glass plates, bowls, and sculptures. I do it in school, and it's awesome! (except for those times where you burn yourself) I also like making beads on the torch. Torching is where you melt glass with a flame and then manuever it into shapes, aka beads.. Photo of one of my pieces is below.

Blogging A to Z- "F"

    
  F is for food. I love food- who doesn't!?! I especially love chinese food. Egg Drop Soup, Egg Rolls, and Sweet and Sour Chicken are the best foods ever invented. I also love Thanksgiving food. You can never have too much pie, cranberries, or stuffing! However, I don't like turkey or chicken. I can't tell you why- I just don't. There's no rhyme or reason for it. I guess everyone likes and dislikes different things. Oh, and my other culinary weakness is Chicago's Deep Dish Pizza!
  I confess that I have a huge sweet tooth. I love anything sweet- especially homemade chocolate fudge, cake with frosting, and cupcakes. I really love baking anything and everything! Feel free to post some recipes in the 'comment' section!

Feature and Follow Friday (See below for A to Z challenge- "E")

Q: Have you ever read a book that you thought you would hate -- ? Did you end up hating it? Did you end up loving it? Or would you never do that?

My answer is easy: The Catcher in the Rye! I thought it'd be just another boring old English book, but it turned out to be really good, and I learned a lot of life lessons from it. Holden Caufield was one of a kind! 

E is for Elsewhere

E is for "Elsewhere" by Gabrielle Zelvin. It's a young adult book about a girl who dies, and then wakes up in a world entitled Elsewhere. Elsewhere is a utopia where nobody gets sick and there is no such thing as aging. In this world, everyone ages backwards. Eventually, Liz, the protagonist, becomes a baby. Liz gets into lots of trouble and has a ton of new experiences along the way. It's a book you won't be able to put down. This book is perfect for anyone who likes science fiction and fantasy mixed into a book. Ps- I included a LOL Cat picture in case any of you needed a smile :). Happy Friday!

For more of my favorite books, visit the "Favorite Books" tab.

D is for Dreams

"D" is for dreams. I have many dreams that I hope to have come true in my lifetime, and I'd like to list them here.
1. I really want to go to DePaul University in Chicago ( coincidentally, Depaul also starts with the letter "D") and study something health related. I don't want to be a doctor- too much blood! I hate the sight of blood- yuck!
2. Someday, I hope to be a mom of at the most of two children. I speak for myself when I say that being an only child is not all it's cracked up to be. Sure, I guess it's nice that my house is always quiet, but the bad part is that I am around adults much of the time. I've always wanted either a twin or a little sister. Of course, that would bring it's own set of challenges...
3. I want to be a Child Life Specialist, which is a person who gives emotional support to kids when they're at the hospital. I volunteer at a children's hospital in the summer, and I have fallen in love with this profession.
4. This might be just a tad unrealistic, but I have always had the desire to go into outer space. I've always had a fascination with Neptune and Saturn. Of course, it goes without saying that I'd need a heated space suit first, and I'd need to become an astronaut.

Blogging A to Z-"C"

"C" is for cancer. I don't know how many of you read my post in the Overcoming Adversity blogfest, but for those of you who didn't, I am a non-melanoma skin cancer survivor. I was diagnosed on 11/15/2011, and I had three surgeries for the condition on 1/23/2012, 2/8/2012, and 2/20/2012. If you haven't read my story, it's posted below. I am not afraid, ashamed, or embarrassed to share this with all of you. After all, my topics for this challenge are supposed to be personal, right? Furthermore, I believe that everyone can benifit from reading my story. I recently did a presentation for about 30 people on the dangers of tanning, and I sincerely hope that at least one person was impacted by what I had to say. Every person impacted is a life potentially saved.

 It's important to know that my story is atypical. I did not get skin cancer from the sun- I am an avid believer that tanning is bad for you. I never thought it'd happen to me. However, the lesson here is that  anything can happen, and please, don't tan.

“You have cancer”. When I heard that on November 15,2011, I was devastated, terrified,  and shocked. 

   It all started on October 4th, 2011. I went to the dermatologist due to dandruff, and I also wanted to show her a weird bump on my scalp. It’d been there for five years (at least), and three pediatricians had identified it has a cyst, and there’d never been any cause for concern. However, I thought I might as well show the doctor. I was there, and I wanted it to be looked at. 

  When the doctor looked at it, she was concerned because it was red. “I’ll give you two choices”, she said. “ We can either take it off, or I can see you back in a few months to look at it again”. I thought for a second. I knew that if I were to get it taken off, it’d be really painful. On the other hand, I didn’t want to wait. What if it was something bad? In the end, I decided to get it taken off. 

We made the appointment for November 14th, 2011. During that entire month, all I could do was wait and hope for the best. I have to admit that I was freaked out about the whole thing. I hate needles, and I knew that there’d be at least one going into my head, if not more. I only thought about that one aspect, not about the results. I automatically assumed that the results would show that the bump was just a harmless cyst. But I’d soon be proven wrong!

   Before I knew it, November 14th came. My stomach felt like there were butterflies in it.  Unfortunately, that anxiety didn’t get resolved right away. We had to wait an hour for the doctor to come. All I wanted to do was get the procedure over with and go home so that I could study for my science test. My mom asked me, “ Do you want me to see if she has another appointment open?”. I said no. All I wanted to do was get it over with!

   It seemed as though hours passed before the doctor came in. When she finally did, I was terrified but relieved. This meant that the procedure was that much closer to being over! The biopsy was awful. Absolutely awful.I had to get shots of local anesthetic, which was the worst part. The doctor was terrible at giving injections. It was the worst pain I’d ever been in. However, after about fifteen minutes, it was over. I can honestly say that those 15 minutes were the worst part of this entire ordeal. 

   The next day, around 6:00, we got the phone call. My heart was racing- I had a feeling we’d get bad news. Why else would he have stayed on the phone for a half hour? Unfortunately, my suspicion of it being horrible news turned out to be correct. My dad said, “ It’s cancer. You’re going to have to have it removed again”. I started bawling uncontrollably. 

  There was, however, a good part to this story. I have been keeping in touch with my middle school english teacher for several years now. We’ve grown to have a special connection over the past few years. I finally made the decision to tell her about this whole surgery thing. I was reluctant to at first, but it ended up being the best decision I’d ever made. Part of the benefit having a friendship like this is that you have someone to go to for support. I sent the initial email telling her about it. I got a response the next day, and I was scared to open it at first. I guess I was worried about how she’d react. It isn’t everyday that someone tells you that they’re going to have surgery! However, when I did end up opening it, she did not overreact. She ended up helping me through this whole experience. I would have been worse off if I didn’t tell. You really don’t know until you try!

  Anyway, more on that later. Getting back to me, the next few weeks were spent going to doctor after doctor. I suddenly realized that there was a very good chance that I’d 1. have to have multiple surgeries and 2. that there was a very good chance that I’d be put to sleep for at least one. I was terrified at the thought of being put to sleep. I’d never done it before, and my mom has had several bad reactions to it. 

   A few weeks later, I found out that I’d have to have an MRI of my brain to see how big the tumor was. The dermatologist wasn’t sure if she’d be comfortable doing the surgery because she thought that the tumor might be bigger than she thought. 

  The day before the MRI, I was an emotional wreck. I had never had this type of test before, and from what I’d heard from other people, it’s not pleasant!! 

The day before the test, I went and saw my former teacher that I mentioned before. It turned out that that was the best thing. I told her about the MRI, and she said that,” I’ll be thinking of you all day tomorrow!”. That made me feel better. 

  So, the MRI was horrible. It took nearly two hours, and it was so loud that it sounded like a saw was going in my ear. I also had to have an injection of contrast, which is a dye to help the MRI pictures be easier to look at. That was the worst part. I was screaming the entire time.

  Eventually, we decided to go to Northwestern Memorial Hospital for the surgery. They have doctors who specialize in this sort of thing. My main surgeon was really nice. He knew what he was doing, but he also had an awesome bedside manner. I should mention here that right before the surgery, I was tearing up. My plastic surgeon (more about him later) just stood there looking at me, but my main surgeon was patting me on the shoulder, trying to make me feel better, which it did. That just goes to show how much difference a small gesture can make! I’ll get back to that day in a bit. 

   I also had to have an initial surgery to remove the cancer itself. It hurt a lot, but I had a nice Dr. doing it. In total, the surgery took about 5 hours. I was awake for it, and the local anesthesia didn’t even hurt. I got used to it pretty quick. I was relieved when it was over, though. Being awake for a procedure is not fun!

   For the next surgery, I would be asleep, and the doctors would close up the huge wound from the last surgery. Originally, the surgeons said that they were going to shave half my head for the surgery. However, after I broke down in tears at this news, they did a skin graft instead. It was very painful. Anyway, the plastic surgeon was pretty insensitive. He didn’t have a very good bedside manner. Oh well...

  The day of surgery was very overwhelming. We did a lot of waiting that day, and the worst part was the i.v line. However, everyone was really nice. I remember going into the operating room, but that’s it.  I wasn’t at all nauseous when I woke up, and I felt like a princess, with everyone there waiting on me!

  The recovery has been awful. Initially, I missed five days of school, and couldn’t wash my hair for five days. It’s been 14 months now, and the skin graft still itches- a normal part of healing. I have ultrasounds every six months, and so far I’m cancer free! 

  I have learned a ton about friendship in these past several months. Some of my friends were not supportive, while others were. I was hesitant to tell people at first, as I was not sure how they’d react. But the one main lesson I’ve learned through all this is that, “ You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take”. In other words, if you don’t reach out for help, you’ll never get it. When you’re a teenage cancer patient, you need all the help you can get!

  After this experience, I am doing everything I can to give back. I volunteer at Advocate Lutheran General Children’s Hospital every summer, and I am going to participate in American Cancer Society’s Relay for Life this summer. I know that even the smallest things make a big difference. 

Blogging from A to Z-"B"

"B" is for blogging. I just started blogging this past September (2012) just to see what kind of activity I'd get, and now, 6 months later, I have 234 followers and counting! Thank you, loyal followers ;) !

I never thought blogging would be anything but my secret little hobby,but once I got the hang of it, I thought, "Wow, this is really cool! I need to promote myself and post more often". Let me make myself clear- I am only 16. Because of my age, I didn't think anyone would be even remotely interested in what I had to say. But once I had some followers, I was hooked. I was determined to have as many followers as I could, and to have as many people comment on my posts as I could.

Since promoting myself on Facebook didn't work out too well, I decided to take an alternate approach by joining Twitter ( only have 4 followers, and am still wracking my brains to figure out how to add a 'follow me' button on my blog). A few months after I started blogging, I discovered the best aspect of the blogosphere--the blog hop! After participating in my first one (Follow Friday hosted byAlison Can Read), I FINALLY got what I was hoping for- new followers and comments! I then started furiously scouring the blogosphere, searching for any and every blog hop and blog hop I could find. It was a challenge, but thanks to my determination, I have succeeded in doing so!

Before I go, I'd like to say a few words about how happy I am whenever I see that someone commented on my post. I'm always so flattered when anyone gives me feedback!  Like I said, I'm only 16 (ok, 17 in May)!